Issue #12. Support a Crone Christmas List 2024 ✊
Looking for a present for the Crone in your life whilst supporting crone creatives, female-led businesses, AND giving Trump the finger? Crone Club's annual Christmas List is here! You're welcome!
Bonjour to all our fabulous crones, crones-in-training and much-loved allies. ✊
What a month, eh? So, I’ve opted to NOT send you the ranty, despairing post I’ve been writing, and instead thought I’d do summat positive to support our crone creatives - the crone makers, crone artists and some side hustles made by our Crone Club members. I’ve included a few younger women too to show there IS hope for the future!
Speaking of hope, it took two crone creatives, both with a terminal illness, to turn my election hurt into something resembling a glimmer of hope this month.
First, this extract of a letter from the wonderful Colorado Poet Laureate
👇🏽Last April, after two years of chemotherapy, when my oncologist told me the cancer was now considered incurable, I felt the expected fear and grief. But something I didn’t tell you was this—I also felt relief. Why relief? Because when I heard the system say, “We can’t save you,” it was the first time since my diagnosis that I felt as if my life was in my hands. Watching the election, I felt something similar: grief, fear. Then this thought—Our lives are in our hands. They always were, but it’s clearer than ever now.
The second beacon of hope came in the celebration of the life of the Queen Crone of Comedy, Janey Godley. The way she approached her own death has provided hope for so many of us and her humour will live on, not least through her fabulous daughter, @ashleystorrie (who won not one but two Scottish Baftas this week! 👏).
Here’s Janey, with her pal Sheila, (AKA, ‘the Swifties!’) from her bed in the hospice, with their rather wonderful rendition of ‘that’ Elbow track. The joy and love in this post just about sums up every crone quality one could ever aspire to. Massive love to Ashley and all her family and friends.
Throw those curtains wide.
(If you can’t play the video above, you can see it on our Insta here).
Now onto the main event….
The Perfect Gift for the Style Crone/Hag/Witch in your life.
Made for and by Crones and Crone Club members.
Even if you’re like me, and you’re too skint to fork out for prezzies this year, I trust you’ll still get some pleasure and hope from just knowing that the following wonderful women exist and are batting on regardless, using their talents to create things that make us feel a little better - whether that’s sweary jewellery to wear our rage proudly, or the pleasing form of a lovingly made teapot.
Creativity is most definitely our way out of here (more on that in a future issue).
Please note - I don’t get a penny from celebrating these wonderful women and promoting their work. It’s just what Crones do, innnit. #CroneSupportingCrones. Also, apologies to those I’ve missed or not had space to include. DM me if you’d like to pitch for next year! 😘 Finally, if you can’t support these makers financially, please still give their socials a Like or a Share - it all helps!
Part 1 Gifts for the Style Crone…
1. Hag and Crone wear by @twistedtwee
The floor-length evening gown pictured above is described as “the perfect attire to pop out for a pint of milk. To increase invisibility it helps to be over 50, when it really doesn't matter what you wear as no one will see you.”
@twistedtwee have, quite possibly, THE very finest collection of Hag and Crone Wear in the world and will also pimp up your clothing of choice with Crone-related messaging - perfect for the Crone Club Afternoon Rave next year! (Official announcement coming soon!) Check out TwistedTwee’s hag and crone related wears on Etsy here, and follow founder Suzy on Instagram @twistedtwee here.
Want to read more about ‘Style Crone?’ Check out TTTW Issue #3. Style Crone for Sisterhood.’
Talking of teeshirts, here’s a few of our feminist faves. 👇🏽
2. Wollstonecraft tee by (soon-to-be-crone) Joanne Mateer of Be More Mary.
Honour the Founder of Feminism, Mary Wollstonecraft (and Joanne’s grandmother who was also called Mary 💚) with this fab teeshirt, modelled by the grinning lunatic above 😂 £25 plus postage from the Crone Club website (£20 for our paid subscribers 🥰).
3. Crone, Hag and, ahem, Chopped Liver teeshirts, all by TwistedTwee.
All together now: “Who do you think I am, chopped liver?”
4. ‘They can’t burn us all’ tee by The Spark Company.
A Crone Classic, and so painfully appropriate.
5. ‘Liberte, Egalite, Sororite’ tee by Black and Beech.
Vivre La Sororite! ✊ They also do a rather fab range of feminist cardies (top right) and tank tops, and support some great feminist causes. Founder is also on Substack if you want to give her a follow. 👏
Also check out Crone Lynne Allnatt @rescued_and_remade. Lynne rescues vintage tapestries and remakes them into bags, cushions and puts them into upcycled denim jackets. “I'm a fully fledged crone at 78 and to keep myself sane I stitch!” Contact her on Insta @rescued_and_remade.
The Crone Jewels
6. The ‘Fuck Youterus’ necklace and ‘Fuck Trump’ earrings by Topple and Burn.
Well, we need summat to replace our ‘Fk the Tories’ earrings 😳😂.
7. Crone Necklace, by Wear and Resist.
Wear your Crone Identity proudly with this bold Crone necklace by @Wear and Resist. They were founded by Sarah Day (pictured above with her daughter) in 2017 as “a way to channel her frustration and rage at the political climate into a creative pursuit that would raise money for women's charities.” ✊
8. Sea glass earrings by Crone Lynda Nurse, founder of @ecoOctopus.
Crone Lynda Nurse has a wonderful eco jewellery business, @EcoOctopus. You can also catch her at loads of Christmas markets around Shoreham, Norfolk and London (although you may have to communicate by writing as she’s lost her voice!).
9. Statement earrings made from recycled materials by Crone Samantha Groom, a printmaker based in Sheffield.
Yum.
10. Crone Karen Sherwood’s gallery @Cupola Art Gallery in Sheffield.
When Crone Karen announced she was setting up a gallery in Hillsborough, Sheffield, many thought she was mad. She did it anyway. 30 years on, she kindly hosted Crone Club Sheffield’s meet-up this month, where we visited @CorinnaButton’s wonderful exhibition (🙏). There’s plenty of beautiful Crone prezzies to be had here, including stunning jewellery by one of our Crone Spoken Library books, Jessica Biggs, and, of course, lots of artwork, including stunning seascapes by Karen. Check out Cupola Gallery for more info or follow them on Insta @cupolacontemporaryart.
Also, if you happen to be in Sheffield, check out @Annie Jude’s Shop in Hillsborough as she sells a smorgasbord of funky handmade jewels made by local kick-ass women. 👏
For the Crone Home…
11. Cat Dummy Board Cut Outs for all us childless cat ladies ✊ by Crone Kazza from Kettle of Fish Designs.
The perfect ‘fk u’ to you know who. Just one of many unique and beautiful, handmade gifts available to buy from our Crone Kazza @Kettle of Fish Designs. Kazza also kindly proof reads TTTW, and as if THAT’s not enough, she’s also offering our Paid Subscribers a 10% discount on everything (use code CRONECLUB10 on her website). Follow her on Insta for some visual joy in your life @KettleOfFishDesigns. She’s also a great writer here on Substack @ The Stuff of Life.
12. ‘The Most Expensive Tea Towel you will NEVER Need.’ by Crone Club with Crone Lyn Hodnett.
Well it wouldn’t be Christmas without giving our Crone Tea Towel a kick! Made by yours truly with Crone-of-Corwen-and-Sheffield Artist, @LynHodnett, it’s a limited edition art print (on a tea towel). Frame it on the wall. Wear it as a headscarf. But whatever you do, don’t do the fkin dishes with it. It’s £20 to our paid subscribers, £25 for the rest (+ postage). Or feel free to make me a more expensive offer. 😳
13.Hand-thrown teapot by my clever cuz (and her lovely hubby), Catherine West of @PotteryWest.
A long way from being a Crone in terms of years, but with more crone qualities than I could ever dream for, is my cousin Cat - one half of @Pottery_West. I’ve struggled to decide what to feature, so, I’ve plumped for their teapot - what crone doesn’t love a nice brew! Somehow, in between calmly popping out another baby, she’s also found time to write a training book for budding ceramicists. You can pre-order the book from here, and Cat’s beautiful Substack, ‘These Busy Hands’ will bring thee great joy too!
14. Carla Murdoch Ceramics and her partnership with female-led candle makers, Lit.
Also a young potter from Sheffield, @Carla_Murdoch_Ceramics does a fine array of ceramics from her gorgeous SheShed (pictured below left by @em_sky_photo).
Carla also works with Sheffield candlemaker ‘Lit’, founded by Heather Gilberthorpe Pell. ‘Lit’ collaborates with many fellow female makers (their collaboration with Carla pictured above right).
15. Sweary birds handkerchief (print) by Crone Annie Taylor, Founder of The Profanity Embroidery Group.
The world may have gone to shit but the birds are still singing! (Find out more about ‘The Profanity Embroidery Group’ in TTTW Issue 9. Sweary Tapestry).
16. Culture Vulture and other mavericks by Crone Ann Blackburn AKA @papiermaverick.
The perfect gift for the Crone Culture Vulture in your life, complete with art-house cinema tickets and, bien sur, un beret!
These quirky papier mache female figures are handmade in Brighton by Crone Club member and TTTW guest writer, Crone Ann Blackburn, who is also offering 10% discount to paid subscribers of TTTW. 🙌
Pictured above: ‘Stella Goes To Town’ (as recently shown in the Edinburgh menopause exhibition ‘The Time of Her Life’), ‘Dance Saved Pam from Killing Her Family’, and, for the Yoga Crone in your life, ‘Yoga Was Her Safe Space For Mean Thoughts.’ To find out prices and for commissions, contact her via her Instagram @Papier_Maverick. You can also read Ann’s TTTW articles ‘Death Chats’ with her Dad, and also the ‘Bat-shit-crazy-joy-of-Croning-Ceremonies.
And this brings to a close Part 1 of Support a Crone Christmas List! 🥰
Part 2 for the bookish crone, cometh soonish.
In other news…
Christmas Crone Support Group Zoom!
Crone Lyn is running a Crone Cub Zoom for ‘Stressed Out Crones at Christmas’ at 7pm (GMT) on Tuesday 10th December. Please email her [lynlockwood70@yahoo.co.uk] or Juzza [hello@justjuzza.co.uk] if you can join us for a chat, a laugh, a breath, and a virtual tipple! Crones from around the world are welcome! We’d especially love to connect and lift the spirits of our U.S. sisters. 🇺🇸 😘
Sheffield crones!
Can you get to Sheffield, UK a few times a year for fun and sisterhood? We’ve been meeting monthly, doing different stuff, from walks and wild swims, to afternoon booze, art exhibitions and even singing in Clare’s Disco Choir. To get on the Crone Club Sheffield mailing list, register at www.croneclub.org/sheffield.
And finally, gulp, can you help keep the movement going?
Now I’ll switch to the third person as I start squirming…
Justine does the Crone Club Private Members Facebook group, the Insta, the face to face meet ups, the online events and Tits to the Wind instead of doing paid freelance work, which sadly isn’t financially viable. She currently has 95 paid subscribers (🙏 so much to you all), but realistically, she needs 5x this to keep Crone Club and TTTW going. The good news is that she’s been successful getting a place on next year’s School for Social Entrepreneurs 🥳 to help give the ball a final kick in 2025 (so many exciting plans!), but it’s a monumental journey and we need your help!
Upgrade to paid if you possibly can! 👇🏽
Gift a subscription to Tits to the Wind. 👇🏽
Forward to a friend who might dig the Crone Club vibe, yah!?
Or even just leaving a comment or hitting ‘like’ can help give a real boost too. 🙏
And on that bombshell, I’ll leave the final word to Crone Janey Godley, RIP.
See, that wasn’t too ranty was it?!
Thanks for mentioning @rescued_and_remade and what a wonderful list of Christmas crone goodies !
thank you so much for the inclusion - my fuckety birds are bloody delighted to be in such magnificent Crone company x