Issue #8. The bat-shit-crazy joy of Croning Ceremonies

Crone Ann Blackburn shares the joy of her experience of 'Croning Ceremonies' (also known as 'Crone Crowning Ceremonies').

Crone Andrea living her ‘best crone life’ at her croning ceremony. All pictures are by Crone-in-Waiting, Deidre.

But first, a note from the editor…

Firstly, a huge HELLLO! to all our new subscribers, many of whom have found their way to us via Crone Melissa Blease’s piece in The Sheffield Tribune last week. Huge thanks to Melissa, Vicky and The Trib. 🙏 If you live in Sheffield and aren’t already a paid subscriber of The Tribune, get on it.

Secondly, here’s a bit of background to this month’s feature article about Crone Crowning.

I had a lovely meeting with a Crone across the pond the other month. She’s called Stacy Vajta, aka The Feisty Crone, and lives in North Carolina. We talked about our work in the positive ageing space and what we were both trying to achieve with it, with a view to collaborating on an online workshop.

Turns out, Stacy is one of these people with that enviable superpower of being able to transform an hour of excitable rants into clear bullet points.

I want to share these with you as they beautifully sum up some of the key issues that older women are facing - issues that we in the positive ageing space, are trying to help overcome.

The State of Elderhood in 2024: Core Issues Facing Ageing Women

1. Over-medicalisation of menopause vs. Empowerment: Shifting the narrative from illness to strength.

2. Identity and purpose: Maintaining a strong sense of self in the face of societal pushback.

3. No roadmap for ‘new ageing.’ Our mothers and grandmothers had a different playbook and women our age are having to figure it out without the sense of personal empowerment behind it. How do we create a strong legacy of ‘ageing women’ for future generations to step into?

4. The loss of wonder that many midlife women feel, burnt out and too tired to find their way into a magical ‘3rd act’.

5. Representation in the media: How ageing women are portrayed and the impact on self-perception and self-esteem.

6. Lack of specialised information on women's bodies: Addressing the lack of tailored health information.

7. Economic, racial and cultural disparities: Exploring the differences in ageing experiences based on economic, racial or cultural status. Is midlife really wonderful for all of us? How do we change this at a personal and community level?

See what I mean? Nailed it. (BTW, if you’re interested in attending our online workshop to explore a couple of these issues and create a personal action plan to address them, drop me a comment and we’ll let you know when it’s happening.)

The reason I’m mentioning this is that (bar the final bullet point), the ritual of Croning Ceremonies addresses ALL of these issues in a really joyful (and ‘very crone-like’) way.

I first covered Crone Crowning back in Issue 1 of Tits to the Wind. My friend Juliann had sent me a link to this blog about Crone Crowning, and I noticed that even just the act of reading about it shifted the fear. I loved the idea of marking the transition into menopause and midlife in a more positive way, so I set about having one as an ‘experiment’ to mark my 50th birthday. You can read about our Crone Crowning fun at Bodlondeb in North Wales here.

Roll forward a year or two and Crone Ann gets in touch, having just got back from her third Croning Ceremony, still high on that heady cocktail of energy, laughter and love that Crone Crowning Ceremonies create.

I asked if she’d write us a piece about her Croning experiences and, legend that she is, she said yes. A huge thank you to Ann and also to all her mates who have gamely allowed us to share some of the beautiful bonkersness with you 🙏

Anyway, I hope you enjoy Ann’s piece and pictures from her fabulous pals as much as I did, and that it may even inspire you to give one a go.

In the meantime, to quote Bridget Christie:

“May all your transitions be joyful!”

Crown on.

Juzza

xxx

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Rites of passage

By Crone Ann Blackburn

Andrea gets her crown on - badges are added on the successful completion of crone quests.

It’s 2019. I’m 59 and thinking a LOT about turning 60. It feels momentous, but there’s no ‘coming of age’, no prom or bar mitzvah for us oldies. Or is there?

My friend (and celebrant) Amanda Zaninetti, has an interesting proposal; how do I feel about a ‘Croning Ceremony’? We get a bunch of my friends together, Amanda holds the space, and we properly celebrate my entry into cronehood.

It’s a big fat yes from me.

There are secretive meetings with Amanda and close friends. Then, on a Saturday in September, I’m brought into my own living room to be greeted by nine women in cloaks ululating at my arrival.

What follows is a personal, loving, hilarious and serious acknowledgement of a transition into something new. 

Amanda shares the historical significance of the crone, I complete quests and there are gentle pointers for the years to come from people who know me.

As the ritual reaches its climax, I squeeze through a child’s play tunnel for my ‘rebirthing’ before I’m crowned and friends share memories and present gifts.

I am seriously thinking this could be the best night of my life.

Almost five years later, we’ve had two more Cronings - the second for Julie and the most recent for Andrea (Amanda’s partner).

Seven of us plot for weeks before Andrea’s event in May 2024, thrashing out five tasks or ‘quests’ between us, each linked to Andrea’s life and personality. 

We’re allotted jobs to make sure the event runs smoothly. I need to make a piñata filled with sweets, sort out a crone tee-shirt (thank you twistedtwee!), design a ‘Wanted for rimes against the patriarchy’ poster, adapt the words to ‘Caravan of Love’ for Andrea’s rebirthing (‘Cronivan of Love’, anyone?) and think about a gift (symbolic and/or conventional).

Wanted for crimes against the patriarchy.

I’m also organising Andrea’s first quest, a round of physical tasks. Linked to her competitiveness and strength, she’ll complete a timed plank and electric chair, run up the street with the added challenge of a running resistance band and crack open the piñata with a rolling pin. 

There are four more quests and after each we’ll add badges to the ‘crone crown’ for the crowning at the end.  Then there’s a sharing of memories and gifts. Here’s mine.

The evening is everything we wished for - riotous, affectionate, chaotic, funny and joyful. We round it off with a home-cooked Middle Eastern feast and lashings of Prosecco. 

This is what Andrea says about her croning:

“I honesty felt this was one of the best nights of my life. It was SO much fun and there was so much laughter. I felt truly seen by my friends, fully known and genuinely loved.  It made me excited to be entering my 60th year and blessed and privileged to be part of the cronedom.”

Three Cronings in and I’m a full-blown convert. Here’s why:

1. As we age, there should be more celebration, not less; after all it’s a privilege to still be in the world and time is running out!

2. We need to rail against a culture that devalues older women. Let’s celebrate our beautiful selves, reclaim our space and feel positive about the journey. 

3. As someone who’s been Croned, there are few times when I’ve felt so roundly loved. On the other side, being involved in a croning allows proper reflection on a relationship and a chance to express your love and respect - as well as an opportunity to enjoy the delicious community and power of older women. 

4. Croning can be as complex or simple as you want. There are no rules. Do it when you’re 50, 60, 70, 80, 63, do it retrospectively when you hit a hundred. Do it tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. Do it in nature. Do it in your living room. Do it on retreat. Do it for a friend. Demand a croning for yourself. Make it up and make it fun! 

Big thanks to Amanda Zaninetti who came up with the idea, held the space and corralled the wild cats for mine and Andrea’s ceremonies. If you want a celebrant to help you with a Croning Ceremony, she’s on 07939 830096. 

More links and tings

🫵🏽 Anyone in PR? We’d LOVE to spread the word about Cronings as a helpful ritual to view female ageing in a more positive and hopeful way - a celebration of sisterhood, but also a sacred pause, to think and reflect on what we might aspire to in our ‘third act’. So if you are in PR or know someone who is (especially if you have connections to Women’s Hour etc), let us know. As you can see, we’ve got some ruddy great case studies to share!

👉 Link to Juzza’s Crone Crowning piece on Tits to the Wind - everything you wanted to know about Crone Crowning (Croning Ceremonies) but didn’t dare ask.

🏔 Here’s where I had my Crone Crowning at Crone-in-Training Steph’s place in Bodlondeb, Corwen, North Wales. It sleeps up to 12 in three rooms and has a fabulous studio space for doing the serious shiz. She’s pretty booked up running retreats, so your best bet is booking for January which would be a rather magical time to do one.

✂️ One of our Creative Crones - Crone Kazza of Kettle of Fish ran my crown and lantern making workshop. She’s great to book for events and retreats too.

🫵🏽 Have you had or been to a Croning Ceremony? We’d love to hear your experiences! Please share below! 👇🏽

😲 Interested in running a Croning Ceremony for yourself or a friend?

• We’re working with Ann and Amanda to pull together a ‘Crone Crowning Toolkit’ for paid subscribers - leave a comment below if you want notifying when it’s ready!

• Crone Crowning and Croning Ceremony High Priestess / facilitator
  Amanda Zaninetti who created and led Ann’s and Andrea’s ceremonies is available for croning ceremonies and you can get her on 07939 830096. 
  
  If you’re in Oz, Crone Joan McCarthy runs Crone Crowning workshops for women in Australia (she’s near Sydney). She’s a wonderful bonefide crone of 80+ and has conducted many a crone crowning ceremony over the years. She’s written some fab books too. Contact Joan via her website.
  
  Or I’m sure Ann or I would be up for advising too, just because we love it.
  In case you didn’t get that.

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Crone Club Sheffield IN REAL LIFE MEET UPS launches this month. 🥳 If you can get to Sheffield, UK, even just a few times a year, apply to join us to meet like-minded women and do fun stuff. It’s free for paid subscribers of Tits to the Wind.